Friday, March 20, 2009

Horrible Obsession

Okay, I am finally giving up my obsession with wanting to get least for now. It is starting to destroy me. Everytime I see people with children and see parents who really should not be parents I get upset. God knows my heart and I know people out there who have gone through this knows my pain. I decided to focus on my health, losing weight, tanning (I know..but I like to tan) and focus on getting a job. I think once Chris and I are on base I will try again. At least then his insurance will at least cover my fertility costs. I believe in my heart God is going to grant me with a healthy baby..I just need to learn to be patient. I am turning 25 in a few weeks and I am feeling old! Never in my life had I imagined being 25 with no children. It makes me sad but I am happy to say I am peaceful with my decision. God never said we will enjoy our situations or even be happy about it but we do need to have joy. I may really dislike this but there is a reason to this insanity and I am positive it will help further His kingdom in some way (hey, everything in our life is to further the kingdom and give God the honor and glory He deserves).

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